Proverbs 11:3

Proverbs 11:3 says:

The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.

Every day we are faced with decisions that force us to make a decision. We can be honest and forthright about something or we keep our mouths quiet or outright lie. One decision will in the end make us stronger while the other decision will completely destroy us. Seems straight forward right? Then why do even the most upright seem to choose the wrong decision? Because it is easier.

The easiest path is not always the right one. In fact, it could be the deadliest. Let me give you a personal example.

I was on unemployment. I was also doing some writing jobs here and there that brought anywhere from $20 to $100 a week. Now, since it was all self-employment income, it was not being reported to the state for taxes yet. I could have kept my mouth shut and continued on. Instead, I checked the box that asks if I am unemployed. The result? My unemployment held for four weeks as they investigated my work and if it meant a loss of benefits. Those four weeks were painful as we didn’t anticipate the sudden loss of income. If we had not said anything, I would have kept on collecting. What could have happened if I didn’t report it? They would have found out and stopped payment for up to four months (as they did on someone I know who did this) as they investigated. Ouch! I reported it and suffered for four weeks. My reward? Those that knew about respected us more for it. We were an example to them.

When integrity is followed, it is not a bed of roses. Oh,no! It can be painful. It hurts when we admit that we were speeding to the officer. It hurts because there are consequences. Yet, it is worth it. Keeping quiet or lying to save our skin or get away with something might sound harmless at first or just plain easier. In the end, it will hurt us. We will face larger penalties. We could face legal problems. We could lose our jobs. We could find ourselves in a much bigger embarrassing position than if we had just admitted it in the beginning.

You have heard “Oh, what a tangled web we weave.” When we let a lie come forth, we have to create another lie to cover that one. Then another and another. The web we weave is what usually catches us and pins us down. It would have been much easier to confess in the beginning. You lose face, integrity, trust, and even friends.

A man was having an affair with a friend. When asked by another friend who had seen some suspicious activity, the man denied it. Over and over he denied it. Months went by until he was caught red-handed. His response was that it was nobody’s business and that he couldn’t understand why everyone was upset with him. He had lied. Why not confess to his failings in the beginning? Now, his friends were faced not only with his affair but also with a loss of trust. How could they believe him after all those elaborate lies and nasty things said to cover his rear? They couldn’t. Integrity is easy to lose and almost impossible to regain.

When you are faced with the decision to choose the easy way out or to face a little humiliation right now? Which will you choose? A little pain now is much better than excruciating pain later.

Proverbs 11:2

Proverbs 11:2 says:

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Oh, how the prideful can fall! I was just in a conversation with someone about politicians and other people in the spotlight that always get caught in affairs. Did they really expect not to get caught? Yes, they thought that they were so smart that they could have an affair or even hundreds of them and no one would ever know. They were that good. How hard they fell!

Never assume that you have it all figured out. Never think that you are smarter than someone else. Never believe that you are the best. You will find disappoint in the fact that you are none of these. Pride brings disgrace.

For those of us who are not having affairs, do not think that you are exempt from this. Pride comes in more forms than you can count. It comes in everyday actions.

Are you the one who insists on driving and cannot take any comments on their driving? When you go off onto the shoulder, do you bite the other person’s head off when they mention it? Are you the perfect driver? Disgrace could come in the form of a ticket or the death of your passenger. 

When pride runs our lives, we fall hard. These lessons are learned the hard way. We learn them by losing things, position, and even loved ones. Is pride really worth it?

When you exhibit humility, you exercise wisdom. Humility means that you are not the only one who knows thing. Humility means that you might make a mistake behind the wheel. Humility means that you can accept correction because you know you might need it. Humility means that you are teachable and moldable.

Do you want to be a wise person or a disgraced person? We all answer “wise”. Our actions say “disgraced”.  If you think about it, you cannot argue this fact.

We act as though we know it all. We act as though we do not make mistakes. We think we know it all. We obviously think too much.

What we need to be doing is stopping and taking a closer look at our actions and words. Where does humility fit in? Does our pride push humility to the side and prevent us from growing? You cannot be the “perfect” person until you stop thinking that you are.

Proverbs 11:1

Proverbs 11:1 says:

The LORD detests dishonest scales, but accurate weights find favor with him.

This verse is typically interpreted regarding economics and money. Yet, dishonest scales can be found is so many other areas of our lives. God doesn’t like it. Our scales can be so dishonest. The scales of judgment can change from person to person.

How many times do you judge someone for an act and then excuse someone else because of “extenuating” circumstances or because they were a friend or family member? It happens all the time. Let me give you a scenario that might be familiar to you.

Trish is a woman whose life is not where it should be. She comes to church. She is involved and professes her love for God. The problem is that she does not see where her personal life should be held accountable. She runs through men like normal people run through socks. Every few months she is shacking up with someone new. Her fellow Christians call her on it and explain how wrong it is. They try with love to get her to see how destructive these actions for her relationship with God. Eventually, when she tries to get into leadership they have to be firm with her on her lifestyle.

Susan has been single for a long time. She has found someone who she has fallen in love with. They both go to the same church and are highly active as leaders. The man lost his apartment and could not find anyone who could take him in for a few days. Susan let him sleep on her couch for those days. Though they still say that their relationship is physically pure, they are talking moving in together. Most people are looking the other way because of their dedication to the church and that he sleeps on the couch.

How are these scales being dishonest in regard to Trish and Susan? According to the book of Titus, all leaders are to be above reproach and blameless. This does not mean that they have to be perfect. They have to be conscious of every action they take even more so than if they were not leaders. They are in the spotlight and every little sin is amplified. Susan and her new boyfriend are in that spotlight. Turning a blind eye to their actions is wrong and hypocritical of the church. To those in the community, shacking up is shacking up. Who really knows what is going on behind closed the doors? Why put temptation there every moment of every day for the devil to have fun with? Not addressing Susan the same way is tampering with those scales.

We have dishonest scales all the time in dealing with people. How is that biblical? Following God means being honest in all dealings.

Rudeness Wins Over Politeness

I am discovering more and more that rudeness is becoming an accepted part of our culture and at times even encouraged. So sad that we have taken such a sad turn. Where it leads is only destruction.

Recently, I was at a store shopping. As I was looking on the shelves for the right product, a woman stepped between me and the shelves and gave me a glare. There was no “Excuse me” or anything like that. She was angry that I was in her way.

In a parking lot, a man drove his car across three rows of parking spaces. Not down the correct way a care should go, but literally across the spaces. We stopped before hitting him. His response was cussing at us and giving us the finger. He was in the wrong and was mad at us.

Invited some people over for dinner. They quickly informed us that they would bring their own meat. Upon arriving, they questioned how we prepared every dish. They did not have any religious restrictions to explain this or even health issues. They said that they wanted to make sure that the meal had been prepared safely. Alright.

 I went on a retreat and stayed at a local hotel. Life had been stressful and a break was much needed. The phone rang. It was a woman in our church who was calling. I could tell by her voice that she was wanting me to invite her over. Her intent was to help me get my walk with God back on track. I was offended and did not invite her over. What I did not know was that she was down in the lobby and was stopped by the front desk who informed her that only my husband was allowed up. To me that was rude.

My son plays many basketball tournaments. There are multiple games going on in the same fieldhouse. Many people are moving around the gym and going in and out. What amazes me is the rudeness that many of these people exhibit. They cross in front of the bleachers to block the view of the spectators just as the play moves to that end of the court. They will even stop and stand there watching the same play. Excuse me, we are watching, too. I always make my children stop before crossing in front of the bleachers until the play has ended. I was amazed when two young boys were very polite about it and refused to interfere with the view until the play was over. I even thanked them. Such actions are so rare.

Holding a door for the person behind you has become rare. Saying thank you does not occur often. Being polite is becoming a thing of the past. What does that say about us?

When society begins to crumble and rudeness becomes the norm, this shows a lack of civility and a path toward barbarianism. We call ourselves civilized cultures yet we act like animals. We have trouble pushing people out of the way to get what we want.

It is so sad to see mankind come to this when it is easier to be rude than to say a simple “Excuse me.”

Finding Much Needed Peace

What have I discovered in the last few days? That we all need to get away and rejuvenate our bodies, minds, and souls. Without this, we fall prey to the wolf that prowls outside our door.

This week my husband arranged a week for me to get away from everybody and everything. Well, not total escape, but enough so that I could pull myself back together. It has been great. It is something that we all need to do yet never seem to be able to.

We have our jobs, our families, our friends, and so on. Where is the time for sanity? It has to be made.

You don’t have to take a whole week each time. That is unrealistic. A few hours here and there is completely within reach. It might not seem like it, but it is there.

I needed this time. I was about to go over the edge. There is enough stress in life without closing up all the relief points. Here is what my daily life is like.

Try to get up to help hubby get the kids off to school. Hard to wake up when you have been up all night because your brain won’t stop. Get up and check emails. Respond to emails and check any correspondence from school. Next, look at to-do list.

Read my textbook. Write first draft of a 350 word essay. Begin research on seven page research paper. Write 2 articles for client. Answer the twenty phone calls that arrive. Five knocks at the door. Take the dogs out during the day. School is out. Five children arrive. Get everyone snacks and onto their homework. Realize that I have done no housework. Two children go home. Three children remain and try to kill each other. My nerves begin to fray. Behind on school work, behind on money making work, constant stream of people, children bickering incessantly over extremely stupid things, house is disaster. All of this makes me want to check into a mental hospital.

How can someone keep their wits about them when there is no place to gather them? There has to be a place to escape. It could be a little space in the attic or basement. It might be in a gazebo. It could be at a park. It might need to be at a hotel.

When I get this time away for even just a few hours, I feel the Medusa figure fading into the background and peace reclaim my soul. Instead wanting to tie the children up, I begin to be strong enough to handle the spats. I can take on the world instead of wanting to be swallowed up by it.

I need to make this time away a bigger part of my schedule. Though I am working during this “vacation”, I am relaxing. I can watch a TV show without interruption. I can take a bath without a knock on the door. I can become human again.