Being Honest With Ourselves

I recently was having coffee with a friend when she announced that she had been doing a lot of internal reflection. She determined that she was too selfish and needed to focus on someone other than herself. During the rest of the conversation, she demanded to know why I did not pick up my phone earlier in the day when she called. Looking right at me she said that she expected me to answer whenever she called me. As I was telling her about the stress we were under in answer to a question she asked, she interrupted me and began to tell me how she was redecorating her house. Hello? Did you just not say that you were realizing how selfish you were and was going to work on it?

This all caused me to reflect deeply. How often do we go through life thinking that we are honest with ourselves? We talk about honesty with others, but what about to ourselves? Are we really that honest? If we are honest, no!

To be honest means that we would have to actually take steps toward improvement! We cannot do that. OK, I know that this sounds too sarcastic and maybe I need to reflect a little more about my honesty, but we are really like that. To change means that we have to work on it. When you go on a diet, you have to work at it, right? The same goes for our character diet. We have to evaluate, assess, plan, act, reassess, make corrections, and repeat. We hate the dieting because of it. Therefore, we hate doing it in any part of our lives.

What stops us from improving our character? Is it pride, selfishness, or just plain laziness? Maybe it is a combination of all of them. We are too busy. It is just the way we were made. I have more important things to do. It is too much work. Sound familiar? Deep down inside these might be exactly when you tell yourself. If you were honest....

Learning Not to Assume

It is easy to assume things. We assume what people are thinking. We assume other people's intentions. We assume that we know what we are doing. But in the end you know what happens when you assume? Nothing good.

I had a chance to be put in a position where I was assuming what someone was up to. I was really torn trying to decide of they were telling me truth. I wanted to believe them, but I began to assume that they could not be since they seem to always fall in that area. They were adamant that they were on the right path and telling me the honest truth. I feared otherwise.

What did I learn? That they were telling the truth and that they needed to be given the chance to prove themselves. How else will any of us learn and grow if we are not given the chance to succeed or fail? Yes, they might be lying. Give them the chance to stand tall or hang themselves. How else would we grow into adulthood and know firsthand pitfalls and correct decision making?

When someone you love and trust begins to second guess you and doubt you, you begin to doubt yourself. You second guess your decisions and actions. You become so dependent on others that you cannot seem to find your own way in life. Parents will not always be there for us. Elders in our family and community will not always be around. Friends will not be there every time you need them. There will come a time when you have to grow up. And I need to let them. No matter who they are.

My children have to learn that they will have to make decisions in life and face the consequences of those decisions. More immature people in my life will have to realize that they need to become mature and my interference will not help them in any way.

How do I help them? In reality, I need to grow more and obtain more Godly wisdom. When I do that, they will seek me out instead of me interfering in their lives. They will look for advice because I do not push it on them. They will seek my counsel because it is not mine but Someone higher.

Assuming does not get us anywhere. It only hinders our journey through life. Trust and acceptance have to be the key.

Love Can Be Bought

Today is my little one's second birthday. My little one is my puppy. I laugh at my husband and tell him all the time that love can be bought. She loves me like no one else does.

I get up in the morning and she welcomes me with a tail that will just not stop wagging. The excitement she has for me is indescribable. I step outside for a few minutes and she welcomes me with the same excitement as if I was gone for hours.

Mocha is the best Christmas present I've ever received.

I spent the last two days not feeling good. I don't have the flu, but my body is achy and I'm so tired. Who lays with me? Mocha. Who cuddles up to me when I doze off? Mocha.

I came home the other day to pick up the mail. She welcomed me and licked my face off. After a few minutes, she just laid herself against me. She was content to just be there.

There is an old saying like, "I can only hope to be half the person my dog thinks I am." How true it is. She does not see my faults. She does not see my issues. She sees the person she loves.

Why can't people learn more of this? Why can't we see beyond problems and faults? Why can't we see to the heart of the person? What would their dog see?

I'm going to start this week and learn to look at people more like Mocha does with me. I'm going to begin to look deeper. I've got to look beyond the surface.