I have talked about the lessons I have been learning over the last few days. They are many and like many lessons they are painful. I’ve learned how to open doors that have been fearfully closed. I also learned when to close doors. Some are meant to be.
Because of my past with many of my “best” friends, I do not usually bring someone in to be very close. They always turn on me and the next thing I know when I need them they are talking behind my back or decide that my faults are too many. Why continue to be hurt like that?
About five years ago, I began a new job and met a girl in the department that would become the best friend I ever had. She was like the sister I never really had. We shared so much: our dreams, our past, our pain. Then one day, my heart was ripped apart. She decided that she never wanted to talk to me again. Her reasoning? There was disappointment in my voice because she had started smoking again. She tried so hard to quit and I was disappointed. I was so confused. Was I supposed to be happy? I was there for her. Sometimes it takes multiple times before someone is successful. Then more came out.
She lashed out at me and said that I had more important things in life than her and I should focus on them. I was not to call her again. What?!? I was so confused. We were soul sisters. If she really knew me, she would know that I was not like that. Her smoking was not a reason to end a friendship. If I felt that way about smoking, I would disown many friends and a few family members. I hung up the phone crying harder than I had in years. I later texted her and told her that I would abide by her wishes, but that I was still here for her.
Once I got over many of the fears of using Facebook, I decided to see if she was out there. I found her. I took a chance to request her as a friend. The pain of it all healed this past summer. But I had to offer the olive branch. Maybe she wanted to reach out but was scared or ashamed. I did it and waited a few days for her reply.
It was a denial. She refused me as a friend. A tear rolled down my cheek. This door was to be closed. I don’t know what I did. When asked she had told me that it was the disappointment in my voice that ended the friendship. I tried to mend a bridge and discovered that the gorge was now an abyss.
This was one door that needs to be closed. I still care for her. She was a wonderful friend. I wish her well in life. I wish that she has a great life. But I will move forward with fond memories and memories that teach a few lessons.
People will always let you down. I cannot put my faith in them. But I can learn from them and accept them as they are.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Lessons From Facebook
I’m one to let doors stay close. When I move forward, I try not to look back. Too many times it is the painful memories that are the most powerful. It has been that way throughout my life. I move forward. Staying in the past is too much. When I signed onto Facebook, the past came back and with it memories.
I ventured into Facebook because of the book I had published. I had been told that getting myself and the book out there was to network. OK. I can do that. I was scared, but I could give it try. I began with family and a few friends. I held back venturing much further. But the past always beckons us.
I couldn’t help it. It was the year of my high school’s twentieth reunion. No one from high school knew where I was. My best friends had disappeared off the face of the earth and no one from my graduating class knew my married name. I had kept that door closed. But temptation and downright curiosity got the best of me. I started looking for high school friends.
When I found them, I just looked at their names. Too many memories surfaced. There were many good ones. There were many that tore at my heart. Fear, humiliation, and loneliness filled me. So much of who we are happens in our teenage years. The drama that unfolds creates the adults we are today.
I was always an introvert. Any stranger that spoke to me received a bent head with a beat red face. I hated crowds and new people. I trusted easily. I wore my heart on my sleeve. In many ways this is still me. I still hate meeting new people and would love to crawl under a table and hope no one sees me. I have to rack my brain what to say to people because I know that I have to find the right words because mine will never do. I am suspicious of people because trusting even those closest to me has resulted only in betrayal. I still wear my heart on my sleeve and hurt easily. Why? Because I found that most people mean what they say and have daggers buried in their words and actions. Why go through all this again and bring up the girl who cried so much? Because she had not healed.
The first person I befriended was a boy…… Let’s stop there. He is no longer a boy. We are almost forty years old. We have grown up. I need to stop looking at them all in that way. They are men and women now.
To get back to it – I found a man who I had the hardest and longest crush on. I fell for him in ninth grade and never got over him through the next few years. We were not meant to be anything put friends over those four years. I always appreciated that. I was a plain Jane. He was cute and flirtatious. Because he spoke to me others were less likely to make fun of me. I contacted him to be a Facebook friend. He accepted, but he had no idea who I was. I had kept my maiden name out of it. I was still too afraid of what would come out of all this. What were his memories of me? Did he even remember me? I also took a chance to contact him through the chat feature. If he did not treat me rudely, I might venture to another person. This was my test before moving forward. I was almost giddy with relief at his response. It was positive. There was no coldness or snobbery. He was the same in our friendship as he was twenty years ago. We reminisced about the clubs we were in and the camping trips that were so much fun. He even remembered holding my hand once. Just good fun remembering the past. This wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. My daughter thought it was because of my old crush. I explained to her that it was because I opened a door and didn’t fall to my death.
Let’s try another one. I found another guy that was in so many of my classes. In fact, I always felt like he should have been the one giving the speech at graduation instead of me. He was so smart. I approached him and he was happy to hear from me. I couldn’t believe it. That was two for two. Could it be that it wasn’t all that bad?
OK, I found another friend who was in most of my classes. I asked to be her friend. She accepted, but something told me that she didn’t know who I was. After about a week or so, I felt so alone because she didn’t know who I was. We were not best friends, but we had a lot that we experienced together. She was a great classmate. I tossed and turned for awhile over whether or not to put my maiden name out there. So one day I took the chance and did it. The response from her was great. Then I saw something that kicked me in the stomach.
Two of her friends who commented on her entries were two boys (sorry, men) whom I had dated and whom I broke up with over her. They all wanted to date her instead of me. I wasn’t mad at her or anything for communicating with them. It was the memories that it all brought up.
The first boyfriend who forgot my 16th birthday and then wanted to dump me to ask her out. I beat him to the punch. We stayed friends, but the pain of a first boyfriend lasts a long time.
Boyfriend number two who took me to prom and then I discovered that I was second choice and he wished I was her. The result was me breaking it off and then nastiness and revenge from his friends. I couldn’t show my face for the lies told.
The pain was deep. I hated what had happened. I didn’t want those memories. I had such a low self-esteem with boys as it was. It only got worse. It took the contact from boyfriend number one to show me that high school is just a bunch of painful drama. Nothing more.
He became my friend on Facebook and struck up a chat. In so many ways he was the same guy. In many more I found a man instead of a boy. He had grown up. He had changed. He was different. We talked of the past. We joked. He apologized for his actions. Made me feel good, I must admit. If he had grown up and matured, maybe everyone else had, too. I was learning a hard lesson. I cannot keep judging people on my past view of them. I have to give them a chance to see if they had changed and grew up. I had. Why couldn’t they have?
A few more people entered my life on Facebook. A few I really wasn’t sure if I wanted to accept their friendships. The past with them was bad. The last time I spoke to one girl, she cussed me out because I would not say that she was the best friend I ever had. (Were we that overdramatic?) Another made my life a living, well you know, for over a year. She was deceitful and mean. They had all received me warmly and when they talked about their life, it was a very different one from high school and even college. They had changed. They had grown up.
I learned not to make memories as eternal things. They did happen and in that regard should not be forgotten. But to make memories current events is not right. Twenty years is a long time. Wonders can be made during that time. Miracles can occur. I’ve changed more in the last few days that I have in the last few years. I discovered friends again. I discovered that time can heal wounds. I haven’t found a few really close friends out there. I wonder if they are even alive. I’ll keep looking. I don’t want my memories to be jaded by time. I want new memories with a clearer reality.
I ventured into Facebook because of the book I had published. I had been told that getting myself and the book out there was to network. OK. I can do that. I was scared, but I could give it try. I began with family and a few friends. I held back venturing much further. But the past always beckons us.
I couldn’t help it. It was the year of my high school’s twentieth reunion. No one from high school knew where I was. My best friends had disappeared off the face of the earth and no one from my graduating class knew my married name. I had kept that door closed. But temptation and downright curiosity got the best of me. I started looking for high school friends.
When I found them, I just looked at their names. Too many memories surfaced. There were many good ones. There were many that tore at my heart. Fear, humiliation, and loneliness filled me. So much of who we are happens in our teenage years. The drama that unfolds creates the adults we are today.
I was always an introvert. Any stranger that spoke to me received a bent head with a beat red face. I hated crowds and new people. I trusted easily. I wore my heart on my sleeve. In many ways this is still me. I still hate meeting new people and would love to crawl under a table and hope no one sees me. I have to rack my brain what to say to people because I know that I have to find the right words because mine will never do. I am suspicious of people because trusting even those closest to me has resulted only in betrayal. I still wear my heart on my sleeve and hurt easily. Why? Because I found that most people mean what they say and have daggers buried in their words and actions. Why go through all this again and bring up the girl who cried so much? Because she had not healed.
The first person I befriended was a boy…… Let’s stop there. He is no longer a boy. We are almost forty years old. We have grown up. I need to stop looking at them all in that way. They are men and women now.
To get back to it – I found a man who I had the hardest and longest crush on. I fell for him in ninth grade and never got over him through the next few years. We were not meant to be anything put friends over those four years. I always appreciated that. I was a plain Jane. He was cute and flirtatious. Because he spoke to me others were less likely to make fun of me. I contacted him to be a Facebook friend. He accepted, but he had no idea who I was. I had kept my maiden name out of it. I was still too afraid of what would come out of all this. What were his memories of me? Did he even remember me? I also took a chance to contact him through the chat feature. If he did not treat me rudely, I might venture to another person. This was my test before moving forward. I was almost giddy with relief at his response. It was positive. There was no coldness or snobbery. He was the same in our friendship as he was twenty years ago. We reminisced about the clubs we were in and the camping trips that were so much fun. He even remembered holding my hand once. Just good fun remembering the past. This wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. My daughter thought it was because of my old crush. I explained to her that it was because I opened a door and didn’t fall to my death.
Let’s try another one. I found another guy that was in so many of my classes. In fact, I always felt like he should have been the one giving the speech at graduation instead of me. He was so smart. I approached him and he was happy to hear from me. I couldn’t believe it. That was two for two. Could it be that it wasn’t all that bad?
OK, I found another friend who was in most of my classes. I asked to be her friend. She accepted, but something told me that she didn’t know who I was. After about a week or so, I felt so alone because she didn’t know who I was. We were not best friends, but we had a lot that we experienced together. She was a great classmate. I tossed and turned for awhile over whether or not to put my maiden name out there. So one day I took the chance and did it. The response from her was great. Then I saw something that kicked me in the stomach.
Two of her friends who commented on her entries were two boys (sorry, men) whom I had dated and whom I broke up with over her. They all wanted to date her instead of me. I wasn’t mad at her or anything for communicating with them. It was the memories that it all brought up.
The first boyfriend who forgot my 16th birthday and then wanted to dump me to ask her out. I beat him to the punch. We stayed friends, but the pain of a first boyfriend lasts a long time.
Boyfriend number two who took me to prom and then I discovered that I was second choice and he wished I was her. The result was me breaking it off and then nastiness and revenge from his friends. I couldn’t show my face for the lies told.
The pain was deep. I hated what had happened. I didn’t want those memories. I had such a low self-esteem with boys as it was. It only got worse. It took the contact from boyfriend number one to show me that high school is just a bunch of painful drama. Nothing more.
He became my friend on Facebook and struck up a chat. In so many ways he was the same guy. In many more I found a man instead of a boy. He had grown up. He had changed. He was different. We talked of the past. We joked. He apologized for his actions. Made me feel good, I must admit. If he had grown up and matured, maybe everyone else had, too. I was learning a hard lesson. I cannot keep judging people on my past view of them. I have to give them a chance to see if they had changed and grew up. I had. Why couldn’t they have?
A few more people entered my life on Facebook. A few I really wasn’t sure if I wanted to accept their friendships. The past with them was bad. The last time I spoke to one girl, she cussed me out because I would not say that she was the best friend I ever had. (Were we that overdramatic?) Another made my life a living, well you know, for over a year. She was deceitful and mean. They had all received me warmly and when they talked about their life, it was a very different one from high school and even college. They had changed. They had grown up.
I learned not to make memories as eternal things. They did happen and in that regard should not be forgotten. But to make memories current events is not right. Twenty years is a long time. Wonders can be made during that time. Miracles can occur. I’ve changed more in the last few days that I have in the last few years. I discovered friends again. I discovered that time can heal wounds. I haven’t found a few really close friends out there. I wonder if they are even alive. I’ll keep looking. I don’t want my memories to be jaded by time. I want new memories with a clearer reality.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Lessons Continue
My last entry was discussing how God uses obstacles that seem so tall and insurmountable to remind us how awesome He is. My family had something hit us right between the eyes. God taught us a lot. We stepped out on faith and went against what the world would say. And in return He is blessing us beyond measure.
Yesterday my husband was called in that he was accepted as a substitute teacher in a nearby district. That would really help our highly probable money issue. That is if there is a need for him. But it is a start. I got offered a writing job. It is very low pay, but it is a start. It will pay for a week's worth of gas. Then the temporary job that I was to start in February called and asked if I could start early. Works for me! Then a prayer supporter felt led to help the ministry out and wanted our address to send money. Our van died a few days before the obstacle reared its head. We got offered a car and they will work with us.
We haven't found the entire amount that we will be short next month and the month after, but we are much closer than we were when we got knocked down. God is taking care of. He will not let us starve. Proverbs 10:3a says that God will not the righteous be hungry. We might not get what we want when we want, but He will provide it in the most creative and uplifting ways.
We've never known a time (since college) when we did not know if we had one penny to look at. We are there now. But we are not frightened. We are not panicking. We are waiting to see how God is glorified in it all. We trust Him. We have learned the hard way not to trust man. No one person on this planet is completely trusting. They will let you down. But God is the one to turn to. He can take the unsuspecting person and use them to help you. We should not feel bad to accept "charity". They have submitted themselves to God to be a servant and He wants them to serve you at this moment. Let them be a tool for God when they help out with food, babysitting, bills, or gas. When you are back on your feet, help them back or pass it on to someone else. Be submissive to God in letting Him overcome the obstacle. Be submissive to God in letting Him guide you down the dark path. Be submissive to God in accepting love from others in all the various forms of fellowship. Be submissive to God in have empathy for others in your situation and lend a helping hand. Only this way can we grow more Christ-like and allow His bright glory shine for all to see.
Yesterday my husband was called in that he was accepted as a substitute teacher in a nearby district. That would really help our highly probable money issue. That is if there is a need for him. But it is a start. I got offered a writing job. It is very low pay, but it is a start. It will pay for a week's worth of gas. Then the temporary job that I was to start in February called and asked if I could start early. Works for me! Then a prayer supporter felt led to help the ministry out and wanted our address to send money. Our van died a few days before the obstacle reared its head. We got offered a car and they will work with us.
We haven't found the entire amount that we will be short next month and the month after, but we are much closer than we were when we got knocked down. God is taking care of. He will not let us starve. Proverbs 10:3a says that God will not the righteous be hungry. We might not get what we want when we want, but He will provide it in the most creative and uplifting ways.
We've never known a time (since college) when we did not know if we had one penny to look at. We are there now. But we are not frightened. We are not panicking. We are waiting to see how God is glorified in it all. We trust Him. We have learned the hard way not to trust man. No one person on this planet is completely trusting. They will let you down. But God is the one to turn to. He can take the unsuspecting person and use them to help you. We should not feel bad to accept "charity". They have submitted themselves to God to be a servant and He wants them to serve you at this moment. Let them be a tool for God when they help out with food, babysitting, bills, or gas. When you are back on your feet, help them back or pass it on to someone else. Be submissive to God in letting Him overcome the obstacle. Be submissive to God in letting Him guide you down the dark path. Be submissive to God in accepting love from others in all the various forms of fellowship. Be submissive to God in have empathy for others in your situation and lend a helping hand. Only this way can we grow more Christ-like and allow His bright glory shine for all to see.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Never Stop Learning
We never stop learning. If you think you know it all, you probably know very little. One of the worst areas we have for learning is trusting God. Just like the Israelites we cannot seem to remember lessons learned.
When obstacles appear we always focus on them. We see the Red Sea before us and the Egyptians behind us. We see the thousands of soldiers before us and the few hundred with us. We see a valley of dry bones and nothing else. What we seem to forget and totally ignore is that God is there and He is way bigger and more powerful than the Red Sea, the Egyptians, the soldiers, death. No obstacle is too big for Him. In fact, they don't come up to His big toe. So why do we continually focus on them?
When Paul was in prison, he did not lament his predicament. He did not sit wringing his hands wondering what was going to happen next. He knew that what had happened would be in God's will and that he was going to do what he was told to do, witness, until he got his next marching orders. He did not wonder how he could do anything because he was in jail. He did not wonder how he could continue his ministry. He looked at the circumstances he was in and just did his job. He did not worry about the next ten minutes.
My family and I had a situation just yesterday that seemed to turn our world upside down. I never doubted that God would provide. When it comes to standing on principle, I am almost a bulldog about some things. To sell our soul for money and compromise our believes and values was not even something to discuss. God would always provide when a child of His stands up for what is right and biblical. He has for us each and every time.
Yesterday we were told that my husband was losing his job. OK, really he was losing the funding for that ministry. The ministry would not die and he would not give up following God's plan. But when the carrot was dangled in front of us, we felt caught between a rock and a hard place. Turn the ministry into what all other ministries are (which we have been praised for following the Bible and not man-made ideas and traditions)and lose your salary and not your work funds or continue and have no money at all. Saying we were shocked would be an understatement.
We have been commended for having a ministry that was more reflective of Jesus' while He was on earth. We are like nothing in the entire county and even the surrounding counties. Last night five people sat before us saying that they would be back using drugs or even worse if we were not here for them. We are reaching out to people who have no money, no family that supports them, and feel that there is no good in life. They say that they have found God again. They feel Him when we have fun together, worship together, and pray together. But other churches have commented that they just could not do what we do. They cannot reach many of the lost around here with severe issues. They cannot show them that Jesus is real and obtainable. Yet, if we were put under their direction they would want to take us down paths that would go against everything we do and stand for. They have told us that. The ministry would change and we would have to be like all the others around us.
The obstacle in front of us? Honestly, just money. How would we survive? I have no full-time job. If he loses his, how will we eat. There would be no money to survive on. Do we give in and go against what we and others feel God is leading us to do for money? Or do we say that we have the faith of a mustard seed and stand on principle? We are going to stand on principle. We cannot stand before God and say that we chose money and "peace of mind" over following His direction. Where would our blessings be? We would be miserable. We would be walking in the dark. But when we step out and say that we will be like Noah and follow God no matter how illogical it may sound, we will be the ones above the floods. We will be the ones with the blessings and the true peace. No amount of ridicule or condemnation will change that.
Our God is the only god. He is the only one to save us. He is the only one who has been there for us during the good and the gad. He is the only faithful person we know. He is the only truly supportive person because He is God and cannot be anything less. We follow the commander of all commanders. We follow the leader that leads perfectly. We follow the one who takes care of the lilies and the sparrows and reminds me how much more important I am than them. Why wouldn't He take care of something as tiny as money to live on. He created an amazing universe that we still cannot understand. He created the human body that sends scientists curveballs every time they think they have it figured out. Our God is the focus of our life, not man made rules, traditions, opinions, selfish desires, or controlling needs.
We learned that our faith can be blown in the wind, but just like a tree that bends with the winds instead of being broken into. We bent with the assault of the storm. We felt the pain of going in a direction we were not meant to. But when the storm eased, we pulled ourselves back up and continued growing. This time the growth is stronger.
When obstacles appear we always focus on them. We see the Red Sea before us and the Egyptians behind us. We see the thousands of soldiers before us and the few hundred with us. We see a valley of dry bones and nothing else. What we seem to forget and totally ignore is that God is there and He is way bigger and more powerful than the Red Sea, the Egyptians, the soldiers, death. No obstacle is too big for Him. In fact, they don't come up to His big toe. So why do we continually focus on them?
When Paul was in prison, he did not lament his predicament. He did not sit wringing his hands wondering what was going to happen next. He knew that what had happened would be in God's will and that he was going to do what he was told to do, witness, until he got his next marching orders. He did not wonder how he could do anything because he was in jail. He did not wonder how he could continue his ministry. He looked at the circumstances he was in and just did his job. He did not worry about the next ten minutes.
My family and I had a situation just yesterday that seemed to turn our world upside down. I never doubted that God would provide. When it comes to standing on principle, I am almost a bulldog about some things. To sell our soul for money and compromise our believes and values was not even something to discuss. God would always provide when a child of His stands up for what is right and biblical. He has for us each and every time.
Yesterday we were told that my husband was losing his job. OK, really he was losing the funding for that ministry. The ministry would not die and he would not give up following God's plan. But when the carrot was dangled in front of us, we felt caught between a rock and a hard place. Turn the ministry into what all other ministries are (which we have been praised for following the Bible and not man-made ideas and traditions)and lose your salary and not your work funds or continue and have no money at all. Saying we were shocked would be an understatement.
We have been commended for having a ministry that was more reflective of Jesus' while He was on earth. We are like nothing in the entire county and even the surrounding counties. Last night five people sat before us saying that they would be back using drugs or even worse if we were not here for them. We are reaching out to people who have no money, no family that supports them, and feel that there is no good in life. They say that they have found God again. They feel Him when we have fun together, worship together, and pray together. But other churches have commented that they just could not do what we do. They cannot reach many of the lost around here with severe issues. They cannot show them that Jesus is real and obtainable. Yet, if we were put under their direction they would want to take us down paths that would go against everything we do and stand for. They have told us that. The ministry would change and we would have to be like all the others around us.
The obstacle in front of us? Honestly, just money. How would we survive? I have no full-time job. If he loses his, how will we eat. There would be no money to survive on. Do we give in and go against what we and others feel God is leading us to do for money? Or do we say that we have the faith of a mustard seed and stand on principle? We are going to stand on principle. We cannot stand before God and say that we chose money and "peace of mind" over following His direction. Where would our blessings be? We would be miserable. We would be walking in the dark. But when we step out and say that we will be like Noah and follow God no matter how illogical it may sound, we will be the ones above the floods. We will be the ones with the blessings and the true peace. No amount of ridicule or condemnation will change that.
Our God is the only god. He is the only one to save us. He is the only one who has been there for us during the good and the gad. He is the only faithful person we know. He is the only truly supportive person because He is God and cannot be anything less. We follow the commander of all commanders. We follow the leader that leads perfectly. We follow the one who takes care of the lilies and the sparrows and reminds me how much more important I am than them. Why wouldn't He take care of something as tiny as money to live on. He created an amazing universe that we still cannot understand. He created the human body that sends scientists curveballs every time they think they have it figured out. Our God is the focus of our life, not man made rules, traditions, opinions, selfish desires, or controlling needs.
We learned that our faith can be blown in the wind, but just like a tree that bends with the winds instead of being broken into. We bent with the assault of the storm. We felt the pain of going in a direction we were not meant to. But when the storm eased, we pulled ourselves back up and continued growing. This time the growth is stronger.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
3 Simple God Acts of Love Challenge
This past Sunday the preacher gave each of us a challenge for the week. We were to note three instances in which God answered a prayer or need through simple methods. With the weeks we had been having I thought that it would be impossible. Why do I keep underestimating God?
God gave me simple act number 1 on Monday morning. I knew I was not getting over my sinus infection. The medicine from urgent care was not working at all. So I called my regular doctor. It usually takes three to five days to see him because everyone loves him. The receptionist actually laughed when I asked for the earliest date to see him was. But her laugh turned to gasps as she saw a cancellation. I could get in at 11:20. A miracle. A simple one, but a miracle.
We know God performs huge and amazing feats. We hear about it all the time in testimonies, but the simple acts that happen multiple times a time gets overlooked all the time. We never stop to see what He sends us that we brush aside and take for granted. We keep looking for a parting of the Red Sea while ignoring the butterfly. God sent that to us as well.
Our lives are always on the run. Our society expects this of us. We cannot have a single empty space on our calendar without being looked down upon or feeling guilty. To take a moment to breathe has to be planned and is a major event in our lives. Why should imitating Christ by taking some quality time to rejuvenate be so unusual?
Because of that challenge, I began my week being more deliberate and observant. Because of that I had a much better start to my day and I did not focus on the negative. I was deliberately looking for God in the simple things. Therefore, I was able to actually see the simple things and appreciate them.
I'm hoping to continue that today. I was actually able to start my day off with prayer and Bible study which has been almost non-existent lately. I did not think of what had to be done next. I took the moments of first coming around from sleep and began communing with my Father. I plan on seeing the simple miracles today and enjoying each and every one.
God gave me simple act number 1 on Monday morning. I knew I was not getting over my sinus infection. The medicine from urgent care was not working at all. So I called my regular doctor. It usually takes three to five days to see him because everyone loves him. The receptionist actually laughed when I asked for the earliest date to see him was. But her laugh turned to gasps as she saw a cancellation. I could get in at 11:20. A miracle. A simple one, but a miracle.
We know God performs huge and amazing feats. We hear about it all the time in testimonies, but the simple acts that happen multiple times a time gets overlooked all the time. We never stop to see what He sends us that we brush aside and take for granted. We keep looking for a parting of the Red Sea while ignoring the butterfly. God sent that to us as well.
Our lives are always on the run. Our society expects this of us. We cannot have a single empty space on our calendar without being looked down upon or feeling guilty. To take a moment to breathe has to be planned and is a major event in our lives. Why should imitating Christ by taking some quality time to rejuvenate be so unusual?
Because of that challenge, I began my week being more deliberate and observant. Because of that I had a much better start to my day and I did not focus on the negative. I was deliberately looking for God in the simple things. Therefore, I was able to actually see the simple things and appreciate them.
I'm hoping to continue that today. I was actually able to start my day off with prayer and Bible study which has been almost non-existent lately. I did not think of what had to be done next. I took the moments of first coming around from sleep and began communing with my Father. I plan on seeing the simple miracles today and enjoying each and every one.
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