The Importance of Quality Time

We all have busy lives. We start the day off running. Barely do we have time to take our first breath. It goes that way through the whole day into the night. As we close our eyes to the rising moon, our thoughts run wild to what is to be done the next day. The next morning, it starts all over again.

When do we have time to get to know each other? When do we notice the little things that are important? We don't until it is too late.

In our home, there are five of us who are busy all the time. Travis works at the local school as a history and English teacher. He also coaches basketball. On the side, he teaches online at a university. I go to school online full-time, work with several writing and public relation sites, and try to provide for the family. This does not include the social activities I'm involved in. Our oldest daughter is involved in sports and music. Our son is involved in all sports. Our youngest daughter is in Girl Scouts. This does not count our attendance at community events. Now, where is our quality time?

We struggle with that. We struggle with that a lot. What do we do about it? Sadly, there are too many times we do nothing. Yes, nothing until the volcano erupts. But then we find little ways to be together. It's not uncommon for my husband and I to take a drive. We live in beautiful areas where the landscape is breathtaking and the wildlife amazing. We'll take a road we have never been down before. With the children, they'll take a walk with me as I take the dog out.

What is the result of these little pieces of quality time? It helps heal rifts and seal the bonds of the family. These quality moments are very important in a family. It is during these times that we learn more about each other. We learn what is on our minds. We learn what is in our hearts.

Finding Yourself

It seems that we spend our whole lives trying to find ourselves. As young children, we struggle with discipline because we want to explore. As teenagers, we desire to know our entire future and to become adults. As young adults, we struggle with what society wants from us and the stirrings of our soul. This only increases with each decade. The closer we approach middle age, the  more we look within and try to find who we really are and not what everyone wants us to be. Toward the end of our lives, we will have come to two places. Either we gave up and followed the dictates of society and opinion, or we found ourselves and defied the world.

I am right in the middle of the approach to middle age. A few years back, I began to struggle with how everyone wanted me to be. Each person had their own opinions. Every segment of society demanded something different. I was to be the working woman who showed the men that she could do a better job than them. At the same time, I was to be the homemaker who took care of her family and put them first. I was to be the obedient daughter yet the dutiful wife. I was to follow my Lord while being directed by my elders. I was around 32 when I realized that I could not be everything that everyone wanted. I was being pulled in every direction. Where one path was opened for me, someone pulled me down a different one and another person took me to a different one. Then I was judged for not meeting all criteria and being perfect in every way.

When one struggles with their soul, they find that there is a wealth of pain that comes with it. As you question the situation you find yourself in, many turn on you and even abandon you. Pain of lost friendships or familial relationships cut deep into the heart. Doubt and anger at one's self creep in and threaten to consume you. This becomes a pivotal part of your growth. Do you give up and go back to the way things were? Or do you fight on because you know something lies in front of you that contains the happiness you long for?

I decided to fight on. The pain deepened. Separation from many loved ones occurred. Why? In one area of my life, I challenged the theory that as a woman I had to do all and be perfect at the same time. Who says I have to cook a full meal everyday? Why can't sandwiches work as I was required to work late? I was condemned for not being the happy homemaker while being praised for putting in so much time at work and achieving well with raises and promotions. If I took time to spend with the family, I was reprimanded for the job not coming first.

In another area, I challenged the authorities in my life. I was raised in the church and to follow God. Yet, whenever I felt Him guiding me in one direction, those around me criticized and derided me for those same actions. To be the obedient woman, I gave into those around me until I realized that I would not be answering to them come Judgment Day. I would be answering to God. This came to a head with our families when we were called to help strangers from another land and we were called by God to move to another location far away. At one point, I respectfully informed my parent that I was listening to my true Father and not any earthly parent. Only His direction was sure and true and if they did not like this then they were to take it up with Him. The sad part is that the bitterness was then not only directed at me but at God as well.

When I made life changes in my career, very few supported me. I was not doing the "right" thing. How correct they were! I was doing something that made me happy. Not everything in life is logical. The happiest times of our lives can be because we took the most illogical steps and found ourselves.

Have I found myself? Not completely, but I have found parts of me that God had placed in the package he called Rebecca but was buried by all around me. I'm exploring them. I'm testing the waters. I'm loving it. I'm not perfect. I'm not just a homemaker. I'm not just a career woman. I'm not just a child. I'm not just a mother. I am all of these and more but in a unique package of me.

I plan on finding more of myself and defying the world. I plan on being all that God wants me to be.

Finding Happiness

How many people spend their entire lives and never find true happiness? Probably more than we ever realized. Maybe you are one of them.

First, what is happiness? It obviously is not depression, sadness, or the desire to be somewhere else. But it can be much more than that. It is not giddiness. It is not just being happy all the time. It is being content. It is enjoying the moment.

Happiness is not always forever. There are moments of happiness that last days, weeks, or even several years. Then we begin to want more. We want something different. That is when happiness is fading and begin replaced with something else. It could be restlessness. It could be that the world around you has changed. There is nothing forever and constant in this world.

I'm finding myself at a phase of happiness right now. We just moved to South Dakota. I'm finding myself at a state of happiness that is much deeper than a smile on my face. It is reaching into the soul.

Whenever I drive down the roads that reach across the plains and into the grasslands, I can't help but feel a pull that I've never felt before. I feel for the first time in my life that I have connected to something.

I thought it wouldn't be like that. I grew up where there were trees everywhere and bluegrass. Here there are trees but most of the land is made up of amber fields of grain. But there is something that is me here.

The landscape is so unique. There are gently rolling hills that have silk waves of grass blowing over them. Then there are sharp buttes that rise up with jagged rocks. As I come over a rise, I see below me a valley where a river winds through it and trees anchored along sections of the bank drinking in the sweet liquid. All along the fields are cattle scattered around eating the sweet grass. Over another rise can be found majestic horses that make me stop and marvel at their beauty. Another field will have buffalo wandering around. Another could have deer, antelope, pheasant, hawks, and prairie dogs scampering about.

Over and over again, the same thoughts come to me about how to describe this land. To be honest, there are not enough words to express what I see and feel. But I will make a small attempt.

I see the land as being caressed by a lover. Not just a short-term lover, but the one that is for life. The gently rolling hills are the gentle caresses that are given during moments of tenderness. From the lay of the land, there was much tenderness shared here. Then there is a sharp drop in the land and a small crevice or canyon is formed. I see that as a tense time in the relationship where the love is still there, but the tenderness has stepped aside but quickly resumed as the relationship continues through more rolling hills. A flowing creek or river signals the tears shared between the lovers that are inevitable. It could be times of sadness or joy. But either one ends up with tender rolling hills around it. As I travel I see large buttes rise up from the rolling hills. They are not gradual. They are sudden and many times severe. These are the times when love is not tender. This is when the lovers pull apart and struggle to find themselves again only to find themselves as one as they resume their tenderness. Every curve and every hill gives me a new glance into this lovers relationship. A rise will reveal miles and miles or should I say years and years of love that become a plateau and then begins a trend of tenderness that becomes more volatile and passionate as time goes on. I never know what I'll find. Then there are the storm clouds gathering in the distance to intrude upon the lovers. The beauty it presents is breathtaking. The lightening storms reflect the passion in the land. The sunsets enhance the love and give the promise of another day with more to discover.

Do I love South Dakota? More than anything. I never thought I would really find a place that I felt was more home than Kentucky. But I have. Many couldn't understand what I feel, but when you are where God wants you to be, you feel something that no words could describe and no one could fully understand.