Finding Out About Yourself

Lately I've been really learning more about myself.  Some of it not too pretty.  Some of it exciting.  I'm learning that I take friendship very seriously.  I get hurt very easily when friends abandon me.  A friend should be a friend at all times and not just when it is sunny.

I had someone that I would easily describe as the closest person ever in my life.  She knew things about me that no one else did.  I thought that we were soul sisters.  Until she decided that her old way of living was better and turned viciously on me.  She accused me of judging her and thinking bad things of her.  Nothing I said penetrated her wall.  She was shoving me out of her life.  The pain I felt was horrible.  My heart was being ripped into.  It took me a year to get over the pain.  To be accused falsely of things by someone so close is extremely hurtful.  You don't just shrug it off.  I swore that no one would ever get that close to me again.  But God generally has different plans.

I have a friend that I would describe as even closer.  I know that I can tell her things in confidence.  She is so warm and caring.  I've learned that friendship is a risk as well as a blessing.  But is something that both sides want, too.  I have a friend now that God has placed in my life to help me through tough times.  He has given me a blessing.

Learning about yourself can only happen through experiences.  When we go through them, the way we respond reflects our hearts.  I responded with hurt because it was something very important to me.  I didn't think that friendship was that vital as so many friends had come and gone over the years.  This was the one time I really brought someone in close and I got hurt.  But I can accept that.  I know more me.  Therefore, I've learned a lot more about friendships.