Sanity Get Away

I have discovered quite a bit in the last few weeks. One of them is the need to get away. For sanities sake, we have to get away. When we don’t, we are opening ourselves up to nervous breakdown that can destroy us and our families.


In my family, I am hardpressed to find peace. We live in a small duplex that is comfortable and nice. The only drawback is that there is nowhere to go when I have to read something, listen to a video, or just to gather my thoughts. Though the kids are gone during the day, my husband works from home. 75% of the time his work comes to our house. I am then regulated to the bedroom in the midst of his meetings. To a degree I feel like a prisoner.

I was going to take my work and study area to the basement. Winter is setting in, and the dogs do not like to go outside in the ice and snow. They have found that they can do their business in the basement on newspaper. I cannot handle the smell. So where do I go? Where do I find a place of my own? I don’t know.

This week, my husband put me up at a hotel so I could get some peace. I’m woefully behind in my school work. I’ve got work to do that brings in money. I want to just watch a television show without constant chatter. I want to read a book without constant interruption. I want to mentally run away.

I grew up as an only child. I had three older siblings, but they were 20, 18, and 15 years older than me. I don’t know what it is like to have siblings. They were more like distant aunts and uncle to me. To this day, what do I have in common with them? I’m still the pain in the butt baby. I was used to having quiet and solitude. Dad was gone from Monday through Friday travelling with his job. It was just me and mom in a three bedroom home that had a living and a den. I could find a place to get away anywhere.

Going off to college, there were still ways to find peace and quiet. Getting married right out of college, it was still just me and my husband. We had a two bedroom apartment. I could still get away and find quiet. Even after the first child was born, I was fine. It was when there were three of them in two and three bedroom apartments and they were considerably older. Now, my sanity goes out the window.

I now have a 14 year old whose mouth never stops. I have a 12 year old son who wants to fight with both sisters all the time. I have an 8 year old daughter who is an extreme busybody and starts most fights. I have an ADD husband who cannot sit still. I sit there wanting to disappear. In our house there is never a moment of quiet. Thus, my road to mental derangement.

I am not like my family at all. Yet, I cannot be me. Right now, my husband is just understanding this and is trying to help me find a way to not be committed to an asylum.

I am discovering that maybe I am mental. :)