tiFor the last few weeks I've been struggling through the spiritual desert. Days of not wanting to pray. Times of fighting with God. Wondering where He is and where I am. Fighting depression. Every now and then a small oasis appears.
This past Monday I felt like I was at the lowest. Where are You, God? If you were really watching out for your children, You would give some chance of a rest right? Where are the still waters and pastures to lay my head? You say that I can come to You as I am weary and find rest. I am more than weary and I'm finding NO rest.
He showed me the pastures today. I visited with a dear person who changed my life eight years ago. I was reminded of how He provides and in the most unusual ways. Through this woman from a foreign country I was shown humility, love, respect for my country, and gratefulness for all I have. After visiting with her, I felt humility before my Provider again. I had been wallowing in self-pity and frustration. And here was a person who had been through so much more. Here was someone who had more "right" to yell at God and fight with Him. Who was I?
Going through the desert is required for all of us. It is only through those miles of sand that we begin to toss off the yoke of pride that led us there in the first place and begin to rely more heavily on Him. He leads you to the oasis to rest and replenish. He keeps you in the desert to be refined and prepared for the job that awaits you in the land of milk and honey.
I'm being prepared for a special job. I'm going to another level in my spiritual growth. It is painful here in the desert, but it will be so worth it as I commune with my Lord.
There is reason for and purpose in this journey called life. We were created by specific design for a specific purpose. Though heaven is the "country" of citizenship for those whose Savior is Jesus Christ, the journey is as much part of God's plan and purpose as Jesus being the Way, Truth, and Life.
ReplyDeletePart of God's wondrous, righteous provision for the journey is friends like the one with whom you visited, resulting in a renewed perspective and understanding of God's presence, provision, and power as we make this journey.
May we all be as willing to honestly wrestle with ourselves as you were in this post, especially since the Victor desires always that we see Him!